this is of the fight, not the man:
on march 28 i am under way with gussmann. a patrol toward albert. it is afternoon, and the sun already stands in the west. its glaring light bites at the eyes. from time to time the light must be screened off with the thumb so that the horizon may be searched for the enemy. otherwise you'll be surprized. the late guynemer has taught his lessons to the entire front. suddenly, an englishman is above us anyway. he comes down on gussmann, who avoids him by diving. a hundred meters below i see them maneuvering around. i watch for a spot where i can take the englishman without hitting gussmann.
i lift my head for a moment and see a second englishman making for me. he is barely 150 meters off. at 80 meters he opens fire. it is impossible to avoid him, so i go straight toward him. tack...tack...tack bellows mine at him, tack...tack...tack bellows his back at me.
we are still twenty meters apart, and it looks as though we will ram each other in another second. then, a small movement, and he barely skims over me. his propwash shakes me, and the smell of castor oil flows past me.
i make a tight turn. "now begins the dogfight," i think. but he has also turned, and again we come at each other, firing like two tournament knights with lances at rest. this time i fly over him.
another bank. again, he is straight across from me, and once more we go for each other. the thin, white trails of the tracers hang in the air like curtains. he skims over me with barely a hands width to spare..."8224" it says on his fuselage in black numerals.
the fourth time. i can feel my hands getting damp. that fellow over there is a man who is fighting the fight of his life. him or me... one of us has to go... there is no other way. for the fifth time! the nerves are taut to the bursting point, but the brain works coldly and clearly. this time the decision must fall. i line him up in my sights and go for him. i am resolved not to give an inch.
a flash of memory! i saw a dogfight at lens. two machines went for each other and collided head on. the fuselages went down in a ball of metal, fused together, and the wings continued on along for quite a piece before they fluttered to the ground.
we came at each other like mad boars. if he keeps his nerve, we will both be lost!
then, he turns off to avoid me. at this moment he is caught by my burst. his aircraft rears, turns on its back, and disappears in a gigantic crater. a fountain of earth, smoke... twice i circle around the impact area. field gray shapes are standing below, waving at me, shouting.
i fly home, soaked through and through and my nerves are still vibrating. at the same time, there is a dull, boring pain in my ears.
i have never thought about the opponents i have brought down. he who fights must not look at the wounds he makes. but this time i want to know who the other guy was. toward evening, at dusk, i drive off. a field hospital is close to where i shot him down, and they will probably have brought him there.
i ask for the doctor. his white gown shines ghostly in the glaring light of the carbide lamp. the pilot had received a head shot and died instantaneously. the doctor hands me his wallet. calling cards: lieutenant maasdorp, ontario rfc 47. a picture of an old woman and a letter. "you mustn't fly so many sorties. think of your father and me."
a medic brings me the number of the aircraft. he had cut it out, and it is covered with a fine spray of blood flecks. i drive back to the staffel. one must not think about the fact that a mother will cry for every man one brings down.
ace of the iron cross:
ernst udet, pp63-65