No WW1 Content whatsoever

[Darryl]

Don't blame me.....I just like to share..received this last night.


Subject: Revocation of Independence

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your inability to elect a President of the USA and thus to
govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchal duties over
all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Utah, which she does
not particularly fancy and Arkansas, which is to be granted to
Prince [formerly President] Bill in recognition of services to American women).

Your new Prime Minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the
97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside
your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for
further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium","leisure", "basic" and "cyclical". Check the pronunciation guide.
You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing them.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Also look up "vocabulary".
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed". "

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good
guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may
have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer
be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it
would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those
of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar
to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty
seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to
get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they
give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a
world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have
never been the bad guys. ("Merde" is French for "@#$%").

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own
good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. All forms of Daytime Talk Show are hereby prohibited.

11. All citizens will be required to sign a declaration that there has been more
than one "Civil War". Any discussion of your own particular case should therefore
be clarified with a distinguishing "American" at the start.

12. All dates which do not exist will hereby be removed from the calender e.g. 12/30/99.

13. All beer is henceforth to be served without refrigeration.

14. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.


By the hand of and Her Most Gracious Majesty Elizabeth II and by the grace of God
This 22nd day of November in the year of Our Lord 2000

[Vin]

Not sure about 13, Darryl

Item 13. This item is completely unacceptable! This is the highest example of the fascist-monarchial-meglomania of the British Empire. Beer MUST be refridgerated!

'Beware the oppressor who brings warm beer'

Rebel my American friends...Rebel!
Mitch

P.S. Darryl: your maps have arrived...

[stephen]

Ebonics came in to existence under our watch. We know more about Princess Di than they do. Red alert! And except for a century of blissful freedom, all we did was trade monarchs anyway.

PS- Proper name: the "Second War for American Independence."

[Ginger.]

That article appeared in one of the Empire's most highly respected newspapers.When we kindly gave you your country all those years ago you could all count,we never dreamt it would come to this.
The other suggestion was that you could solve your current dilemma with a penalty shoot out,like in football.This would save direct rule having to be immposed from Westminster.
ps
make sure there is no one Hunnish in said shootout as it is our experience that they will win it.
Get well soon,Ginger.

[Darryl]

Kirby,

Absolutely agree. However ENFORCING the showing of those ad's will probably break several international human rights treaties!!!

Mitch,

Couldn't agree more. But it doesn't appear to apply to the Southern Hemisphere, so no harm really!!

As Father Jack Hackett would say : "MAPS, MAPS!!!!"


Stephen,

Between Princess Di and Princess Fergie you have all the reason you need to run back to the Empire. I mean, why be governed by empty headed, letcherous, no talent, policy devoid morons when you could be governed by....ah..um, never mind...

BTW, Has "War of Northern Agression" fallen from favour?


Personally I think that 10 should be given the highest priority and that the coast guard should go on special alert to see that none is exported.

And 3 should also be compulsory.(even for Canadians as well).

Cabbie, upon my brother getting into a taxi in Toronto "Hiya, what part of England are you from?"

Brother "I don't know what part of America are YOU from"

Cabbie " Oh, you're not English then!"

regards to all

Darryl

[Darryl]

Fear not Vin, with the Republican Movement on the ropes, they have no need or wish to impose such stringent torture on God's own country (or the Eastern States**G**)

regards

Sunny Sandgroper

[mike_baram]

Oh, Great!!! Now we'll have endless repetitions of "Are You Being Served" and "Benny Hill" on PBS.

Oh...we have that already...dammit!

I have been spammed with this several times. Work, mailing lists, home email, junk email accounts, ....................... now this board.







cam
AFC - http://members.xoom.com/pointcook/

[Ira_Silverman]

...just as long as we don't have to drive on the left side of the road...

Maybe we should... ...Imagine all the right-wingers on this forum having to move to the left...

Hmmmm

VBR,

Ira