[Barker]

Rummaging around I found this old thing:

Seeing no similar physiogomy, Bluey wandered the land, forlorn. He was often seen at family gatherings and seasonal celebrations desperately trying to enter the "3-legged man race". Given that criteria, Bluey produced his very own partner whilst the celebrants muttered off, something about all men and equality. Bluey was the last one to know, it seems. The least-obsessed in the midst, Bluey had come to believe that everyone was outfitted by the same good natured gent and so did not fully understand the obsessional references to size until waking up in a men's loo somewhere outside Uptagumbumbpta one late evening (3 a.m. as the crow measures).
Looking up bleary-eyed, startled, Bluey noticed the cause of all the scorn with which he'd been heaped.
Seems what the others had been demonstrating against all along was their own short-comings.
Bluey found this irrelevant and wondered further still in the septums of his higher organ, finally concluding that the more you discussed it the less you had to show for it.

All aspiration ceased to IPMS events, noting that the letters had a strange co-incidence to a "female trait".
Lout that he was, he cared little. The smaller scale was a poor simulation anyway.