[NeilE]

Hi Everyone;

I'm just back after treating a particularly difficult case of recurrent AMS where the poor chap was stuck on correcting 1/144 scale PE cockpit details. After administering major tranquilizers and significant occupational therapy building 1/28 scale kits OOB, I pronounced him fit to return to society, and, if he continues his appointments at the Institute, he may be cured.

Stephen seems to be working over some new interesting theoretical territory here. However "The Thick Thumb Theorum" he describes has been previously defined by the late celebrated Comrade Doctor Smer as "Heckneinneinactlactschlung" (not to be confused with Heckeinheinikendankenschlung as others who should know better have postulated).

We at the Glencoe Institute have developed a program guide for inclusive modelling club meetings which can help modellers work through their problems and which can assist in the smooth running of even the most anally fixated clubs. These are:

1) All models are made equal. Its the effort and the enjoyment that counts not the detail;

2) Whatever you want to say, its okay, we all want to hear it;

3) The number of prizes you have collected does not make you an expert;

4) Sharing is important; everyone wants to learn what everyone knows;

5) Its okay to be wrong; mistakes help you learn;

6) A smart-aleck criticism can be devastating; if you can't be constructive, what are you doing here?

7.1) All modelling clubs are part of the one community, if you want to bicker with another club about something that happened five years ago, shouldn't you be doing somewhere else?

7.2) All modelling clubs are part of the wider community, take the hobby to the community where you can and it will grow;

8) A model is a model is a model. It is not a replica aircraft.

9) If I can't see your details, how can I admire them?

10) Being the Club President five years running does not make you a better modelller.

11) contrary to popular belief, beer does not make for better meetings, only drunken ones;

and finally;

12) LISTEN YOU MAY HEAR SOMETHING!

All of these and more can be found in my latest book, "Model Clubs Meetings Can Be Fun" - only $149.95 (USD) - {All proceeds to the Glencoe Institute "Help for Anal Modellers Syndrome Sufferers (HAMMS) Campaign}.

Stephen, rather than you taking on the exacting role of the treasurer for the Institute and the AMS-a-thon (positions currently held by my brother-in- law now he's completed his sentence), why don't you apply for the currently vacant FROG Research Fellowship at the Glencoe Institute - We'd be glad to have you on board!

All the Best

Neil E
Director, Glencoe Institute

PS: Does anyone know what those funny little men under my desk who steal my small parts and laugh at me are called? :P