Laws of Modeling 101

[NeilE]

Hi Everyone;

I'm just back after treating a particularly difficult case of recurrent AMS where the poor chap was stuck on correcting 1/144 scale PE cockpit details. After administering major tranquilizers and significant occupational therapy building 1/28 scale kits OOB, I pronounced him fit to return to society, and, if he continues his appointments at the Institute, he may be cured.

Stephen seems to be working over some new interesting theoretical territory here. However "The Thick Thumb Theorum" he describes has been previously defined by the late celebrated Comrade Doctor Smer as "Heckneinneinactlactschlung" (not to be confused with Heckeinheinikendankenschlung as others who should know better have postulated).

We at the Glencoe Institute have developed a program guide for inclusive modelling club meetings which can help modellers work through their problems and which can assist in the smooth running of even the most anally fixated clubs. These are:

1) All models are made equal. Its the effort and the enjoyment that counts not the detail;

2) Whatever you want to say, its okay, we all want to hear it;

3) The number of prizes you have collected does not make you an expert;

4) Sharing is important; everyone wants to learn what everyone knows;

5) Its okay to be wrong; mistakes help you learn;

6) A smart-aleck criticism can be devastating; if you can't be constructive, what are you doing here?

7.1) All modelling clubs are part of the one community, if you want to bicker with another club about something that happened five years ago, shouldn't you be doing somewhere else?

7.2) All modelling clubs are part of the wider community, take the hobby to the community where you can and it will grow;

8) A model is a model is a model. It is not a replica aircraft.

9) If I can't see your details, how can I admire them?

10) Being the Club President five years running does not make you a better modelller.

11) contrary to popular belief, beer does not make for better meetings, only drunken ones;

and finally;

12) LISTEN YOU MAY HEAR SOMETHING!

All of these and more can be found in my latest book, "Model Clubs Meetings Can Be Fun" - only $149.95 (USD) - {All proceeds to the Glencoe Institute "Help for Anal Modellers Syndrome Sufferers (HAMMS) Campaign}.

Stephen, rather than you taking on the exacting role of the treasurer for the Institute and the AMS-a-thon (positions currently held by my brother-in- law now he's completed his sentence), why don't you apply for the currently vacant FROG Research Fellowship at the Glencoe Institute - We'd be glad to have you on board!

All the Best

Neil E
Director, Glencoe Institute

PS: Does anyone know what those funny little men under my desk who steal my small parts and laugh at me are called? :P

[topgun56]

Right on.

They are called small parts stealers. Mostly they hide in the shag carpent until the cats are ready to play with the part.

Why, is the missing part never in your swpares box?

[stringbags4ever2]

PeteLH.

No work, the definition of retired.

StephenL,

You forgot 1/144th scale....discussed else where.
A WWI fighter would be the size of my fat finger.

I dislike club meeting, the management always wants a cheer. *Or go Army (a.f, or Navy) or secret hand shakes.

Is this a club?

TogGun:

I'm envious of your retirement, man. Definitely more time to build. I'm eating my heart out till my new workbench arrives.

[stringbags4ever2]

I feel like PeteLH just put an apple on my com'puter. No its not a Mac... *: *

The 'Thick Thumb Theorum' states that 'the difficulty in reaching a seam union, (so to sand smooth said seam) is directly proportionate to the mismatch of the parts by both the manufacturer's desire for simplicity and the resultant attempt of the modeler to do it right.' *Hence the reason *we all tend to feel like a Rhino glueing petals on a rose at times.

Next Pop Quiz: What is the unofficial Rules for Parlimentary Procedures and Monthy Club Meetings' for any Modeling Club?

Steve:

The rules for monthly club meetings are:

1) The prez always brings the beer and pizza

2) No criticizing the prez over his models

3) All club expenditures come out of the financial secretary's own pocket

4) Aircraft judged the most poorly built get to be "flight tested".

5) The members with the most trophies garnered in contests over the past year may never be overruled on any motion.

[NeilE]

Peter!

Your Club is sick!

However, we are looking for such a club to do some detailed tests on (Don't worry, we'll bring our own one way mirror, Airfix Fokker DR-1s and rats). We will send some representatives from the Institute over poste haste.

Put down that beer right away! Obviously you haven't read Lindberg's famous paper on the toxic effects of mixing beer and CA fumes? our extensive retesting of Lindberg's work shows that this toxic mix can lead to latent AMS and in extreme cases cause a condition known as "Modellus Neanderthalia"

I just hope I'm not too late.

All the best

Neil E
Director Glencoe Institute
BSSc etc. Airfix University 8)

[stringbags4ever2]

Hi Neil:

Of course, you know I was only joking, right?
The only times we drink beer and eat pizza is in May after our two major contests are over, and again at the Christmas party. Other than that, it's strictly business, with models on display for show and tell. But our group is a fun bunch of guys. BTW, just out of curiosity, what is the Glencoe Institute? Anything to do with Glencoe models?

Model on!

Pete

[StephenLawson]

Neil_E: I feel honoured that you would consider me for a post at the Institute. *I'm getting all misty that my meger contributions may help in the developmental field of saving so many from the dreaded disease we call AMS.

Now class:the unofficial 'Rules for Parlimentary Procedures and Club Meetings' for any Modeling Club state:

1. If it doesn't matter, it does not matter!!! (The Corollary: However it will take up most of the meeting to discuss. (This applies specifically to grudges against other modelers, clubs or contest commitees.)

2. A motion to adjourn to the nearest coffee shop and or restraunt is always in order. There, dissagreements may be dealt with directly in the adjoining parking lot. Quite possibly under the watchful eye of the local constabulary.

Now for the Final Test of the Laws of Modeling 101 summer class 2002. *For those of you who joined us late I suggest some cramming with flash cards. *The answer must include elements of the entire course. *To be specific even elements of the previous contributions from the class may be used in your answer. *These will be limited to one sentence only and must be complete thoughts.

Here it is:according to the material dealt with in this course. *What makes a satisfying scale model? *

[Michael]

You forgot a rule regarding quorum. I propose:

Quorum for any meeting will be three-quarters of all members present.

[drIace]

Answer: "A model that the builder is pleased with."

I build for the pleasure of building.I have the BBMF presentation kit-boxed,needing building.A girl i`m kinda sweet on adores the Lancaster. I offer to build the planes in her favourite markings.And make a gift of them to her.She turns me down saying that she will not be bought. BLOODY, BLOODY, BLOODY WOMEN. Do i build them anyway??