"The Red Baron" script

Greetings,
I recently completed a spec script on MvR. After a number of re-writes and polishes, I'm finally happy with it.
If anyone is interested in reading it, I'd appreciate your feedback. I'm also looking for an agent, hint hint.
Drop a PM with e-mail address, and we'll go from there.
Let me add, this isn't a documentary. Everything he did in Russia is not in this script. I shuffled pilots around and Lothar is only wounded once. I was a military history major in college, so I did my best to keep the story as accurate as possible.
I haven't read the scripts for the German "Red Baron" movie that's coming out (the synopsis made me cringe) or "Flyboys" (though I'd like to).
Take care,
CPT Fox, USA

Here's a log line: The true story of an officer who leaves the trenches to fly during World War I, and becomes the top Ace of the war. As the war continues, he physical and emotional toll threaten to take him from the war, and the soldiers he's sworn to protect.

[Red Baroness]

Fork it over, I'll have a read - I could use something good to goof around with other than my own stuff.

+Red+

[David_Layton]

I toyed with a MvR script idea. My film would have started with Lothar coming back from France with his brother's remains. Upon arriving at the train station, he sees his mother and the flashback begins.

The film would draw heavily upon the biographies including Peter Kilduff's and Susan Haye's 'Mother of Eagles' as well as Bodenshantz' (sp?) diary of JG1 as these are the best source available.

The relationship between Manfred and Lothar and the backdrop of the JG1 gang, would allow this to go beyond a war film and have some character development. (Maybe the folks at Cannes will sit up and take note....)

One of the key themes would be the contrast between Manfred's introverted personality weighed down by the responsibilities of command and the pressures of the notariety and the stresses of early air combat to Lothar's outgoing personality, 'assertive flying style' and womanizing. Also Manfred's temperance and Lothar's drinking and the stress from Manfred's concerns toward his brother's safety and quick progress. Also, the height difference, Manfred was about 5ft 6" (165 cm) and Lothar was a bit taller. Other key emotive moments, the tensions Manfred felt when Lothar had his mishaps and Lothar's guilt when Manfred finally was shot down. Also the injury from the bullet in the head.

The actors need to be Germanic and very young to portray the pilots in their youth. This (youth of the aircrew) was one of the few plus marks of the flawed drama 'Memphis Belle'. The need to show both excitment of the new technology of flight and the wear and tear on the bodies and souls from their grim work. It will take a great deal of film immersion try to get across the idea that in 1917, this was cutting edge technology: 'Top Gun' ('Top Hun?').

I would push for the flying scenes to depict actual WWI aircraft, especially the Albatrosen. Here I would think that CGI has matured to the point of working out. See PJ's King Kong.

One bad omen moment would be when the order came to replace the eisern kreuzen with the balken kreuzen, I would have someone imply that this was the 'beginning of the end' This could be done with a brief airfiled scene as a particular red triplane was having the iron crosses painted over.

It's both do-able and could be a very entertaining film. But try to get the money end of Hollywood to promote it and allow it to be done right.

[Red Baroness]

Curious - where did you hear Manni was such a shorty?

All the books I've read have him at about 5'9" and Lothar at about 6'1".

I know Udet was about 5'3", and in his book, he mentions Manfred as "tall", which 5'9" would seem to someone of that height.

[Biber]

Originally Posted by David_Layton

I toyed with a MvR script idea. My film would have started with ....

Such a film sounds like it would be a very engaging drama. Would love to see such a thing. Alas they don't come down the pike often enough.

B

would love to see such a script, since MvR was a complex individual enough (at whatever hieght you choose) to keep us fascinated this long. I agree about the personality conflict between the two brothers being a great story. And from reading Bodenschartz book, you get an endearing porttrait of the personalities of JG 1.
The only hook is, in the US especially, you can't sell movies based on Germans unless they are either Nazis, or the victims of Nazi's. And we live in an age where being recognized for your prowess at killing the enemy is much admired, especially in Hollywood. And I'm not knocking the Rittmeister in any fashion, just recognizing some cultural changes.

do enjoy good discussions on these things, LS

[snowbird]

[QUOTE=David_Layton]I toyed with a MvR script idea. My film would have started with Lothar coming back from France with his brother's remains. Upon arriving at the train station, he sees his mother and the flashback begins.

Do you see a problem here ??????

Lothar didn't come back with MvR's remains, Bolko did

Please don't change history to accomomdate a nice story

Tony

[David_Layton]

No, actually I was not trying to rewrite history. I had come up with the thought awhile back in a discussion on how to do an MvR movie.

Actually, bad memory as it had been awhile since I had read a biography. You are correct Lothar was already dead 2 years.

So, perhaps it is Lothar looking back prior to climbing into the pasenger service LVG CVI....

Regardless, I think that Lothar would be an excellent dramatic foil for MvR.

[Vin]

Originally Posted by Red Baroness

All the books I've read have him at about 5'9"

Von Richthofen’s height depends upon who you want to believe

5ft 5 Guynemersghost
5ft 6 David Layton, Manzol (quoting McGuire)
5 ft 7 ½ Greg VanWyngarden
5ft 8 DerDrache
5ft 9 Baroness