Clark and His Ark
The funniest man and the most unusual aeroplane I ever met were Channing Clark and his 1936 Fleetwings Seabird.
The people at the Hawthorne, California airshow approached with mystified looks on their faces when they spotted the plane—it was truly something to see—something to gaze upon. The shimmering all-stainless steel ship seemed to magnetize their palms and knuckles to its nose and outboard floats. They came one by one to stroke and knock on it. And Channing Clark, its proud owner allowed them the pleasure—said they couldn't hurt the airplane, he worried more that the airplane might hurt them.
I was given the privileged seating of a nautical lawn chair beneath the wing of the ship, nearby the galvanized anchor that Channing had lowered onto the asphalt after he shut the engine down. From my shaded spot I observed a number of onlookers during the show change their location with respect to the odd silver bird and study or photograph it from several angles and I took notes of their questions to Channing, which repeated throughout the day in a series:
"What is it?"
"How old is it?"
"What's it made of—Reynolds Wrap?"
"Does it really fly?"
"Can it land on water?"
And to each question, Channing replied with well-practiced witticisms— delivering each answer after a thoughtful pause and a throat clearing, never letting the asker realize that he'd been asked the same questions a thousand times before. After hearing his funny answers, they'd step back once again, and stare at the steel marvel holding their chins with studious amazement. As they departed his company, Channing sincerely and graciously said to them, "Thank you for your interest." Here is some of what I overheard...
Spectator: "I've never seen anything like it!"
Clark: "If I'd never seen it, I'd be rich!"
Spectator: "Is it fully amphibious?"
Clark: "Sir, I can't answer that until you tell me what semi-amphibious is."
Spectator: "Is it for sale?"
Clark: "Well, in 1936 it sold new for $20,000. Today, I'll trade it for any Malibu beachfront property that in 1936 went for $20,000."
Spectator: "You'd have to be pretty well-off to maintain this airplane!?"
Clark: "Howard Hughes once flew this airplane, so I feel I'm living like a billionaire."
There could not be a better match of a man to his plane; Channing Clark and the Fleeetwings Seabird were made for each other. Channing and his Seabird both possess a sense of dignified humor that charms people and holds them spellbound. Channing was born on January 11, 1916 and now in his seventies, he still climbs gymnastically about the top of the ship to pull through the propeller of the Jacobs 300 horsepower radial engine. From the ground, ten feet below, I watched him circumnavigate the guy wires, the sloped roof and natural voids, and grab the engine mount struts, swinging himself around them with the grace of a trapeze artist.
He has the face of a salty sea captain and wears his trademark wool nautical cap to go with the Seabird. When I asked him if I could take his picture, he dutifully posed atop the airplane by the propeller, striking a pose and a staunch look gazing to the horizon, as if out at sea. He refused my request to say cheese, with an utterance out of the side of his mouth, "I run a tight ship!" My camera clicked and I then realized that I'd just shot one of my best photographs ever.
After the long airshow day, Channing held us entranced at the dinner table with his colorful stories of his "eight-year courtship and twenty-six year marriage to the Fleetwings Seabird," as he described the relationship.
He had us in stitches with his long roll of well-rehearsed jokes, always beginning with the throat clearing, the thoughtful pause, the faraway look, then the opening line, most of which began with, "Guy walks into a bar..." After seven or eight jokes beginning this way, all Channing had to do to crack us up, was to just start the next joke with that opening line.
Other Channing Clark one-liners:
“The fog's so thick a deep breath would drown you.”
“You've buttered your bread now lie in it.”
“I'll leave a martini in the window for you.”
“With my luck, if they sawed a woman in two and gave me half, I'd get the half that eats.”
“If death was knocking at your door, I'd pull you through it.”
"Maintain airspeed!" instead of goodbye.
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